THE CANDID EXPERIMENT
A few weeks ago I was at dinner with a girlfriend and naturally we got onto the topic of dating. Both of us are single but are proactively trying to meet new people in the hopes of finding a guy. We realized that both of our downfalls is that sometimes we can come off at stand offish and unapproachable (according to a bystander on Coupled at least).
This conversation made me realize that when we are out during the weekend we often scan the room and try to see who we can approach and introduce ourselves to. We gravitate towards people who are having a good time, smiling and have overall positive vibes rather than someone in the corner who looks seriously pissed off. Even though the majority of the time that person is perfectly content and happy, from an outsider’s perspective when one isn’t smiling or is looking at his or her phone, it gives off the vibes that he or she is simply not interested or in a bad mood. I firmly believe that one needs to seem approachable and easy going for someone to work off the courage to start talking to a complete stranger. This leads me to my new dating experiment… The Candid Experiment!
My new experiment stems from the process of taking a “candid” photo with friends. This consists of forced laughs, silly smiles, and curated happiness BUT once you fake it for a moment it brings out the real laughter and smiles. So whenever I am out during the weekend or at the airport, I now try to have soft smile on my face or giggle at something to essentially “give” someone an opportunity to approach me!
I tried this out with a guy boarding my flight to Miami last weekend and we made eye contact and he grinned but he never initiated a conversation which was a little disappointing. However, the next night I was out to dinner at a hotel and I saw him leave the hotel with presumingly his girlfriend by his side, and it gave me hope that when I do try this out on a single, reasonable guy that it can spark something. I don’t think any one should feel like they need to wait until someone else approaches them but if you are shy about going up to people like I am, this is a good alternative!
I know this sounds a little crazy but I have told my friends when we go out that I am going to make sure we are putting out happy vibes and we will see if this has any success. Stay tuned!