THE WEEKLY LO-DOWN: YOU’RE NOT THE ONLY SINGLE ONE LEFT
I’ve been trying to refrain from talking about love because I don’t want to infiltrate your inbox about it. But I realized…us ladies do think about it a lot! It’s only normal right? I’m glad I’m not the only hopeless romantic in this city!
All my life I have found myself day dreaming about my future husband: What will his smile look like? How tall will he be? Where will I meet him? How will he propose? etc. But as you reach your mid to late- twenties I find that many women (including myself) have a sense of pressure to figure out this mystery sooner rather than later. No matter the age of the group of friends I am with, I find us all touching upon the topic of love in one capacity or another.
It wasn’t until a recent client of Beautini called off her wedding that I realized, you really really just have to wait for the right person to walk into your life at the right time. One of my best friends who I often seek relationship advice from keeps telling me, “I don’t think you really want a relationship.” We may think we do but when you dig deeper and think about the “why?” you can see her point is valid.
People want different things at different times, so just because someone is ready for marriage before you it doesn’t mean anything more or less about you or that person. Living and working in a world that always has something going on, we find ourselves wanting to share these daily experiences with somebody. Someone to talk to, someone who makes you laugh and allows you to relax and take a breather from the hectic world. I started feeling a bit lonely in New York as more of my friends are finding their partners and starting new chapters in their lives. All so exciting but I kept trying SO hard to find another single person to go out with since I probably couldn’t relate to the others anymore, right? Wrong. I explained these feelings to a few people and realized that a relationship doesn’t necessarily define a person. Granted, some people do choose to spend every waking moment with their partner and their identities almost morph into one. However, if they’re in the right relationship, they’ll still be the fun person you always knew and maintain their independence, like you. You’re not losing them, you’re simply expanding your friends circle as you get to know their partners as well.
Just because everyone around you may be entering life stages at a different pace that you are, don’t think of it as a competition. Live vicariously through them and learn more about what you want (and don’t want) from them so when it’s your turn you will confidently enter that next chapter knowing it’s the right time. Remembering to be an individual before you focus on becoming a couple. I see friends who are still striving to be their own person while growing with a partner which is beautiful to observe. Ultimately, you have to be fulfilled with yourself before you can be completed by someone else. Love is life’s biggest mystery, embrace the journey!